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 The mistery of /b/

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-=Raptor=-Jinzo
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PostSubject: The mistery of /b/   Wed Jan 05, 2011 5:08 pm


/b/ is where most of the internet's trolls, morons and assholes hang out. It has a rather unique "lulz" based economy and its denizens are required to check their moral compasses at the door as they enter. It is the source of 50% of the internet's memes and 60% of its general mayhem. It is the source and greatest stronghold of Anonymous. /b/ is a place of great chaos where netiquette does not apply and the wise fear to tread. However, it is also a place of great power, where the collective intelligence and skill of the ad-hocracy allow amazing feats to be accomplished through a process almost opposite yet oddly reminiscent of a typical "open source" development model. Also, reading /b/ can make your brain spontaneously combust.

Some examples:
* /b/ is the guy who tells the cripple ahead of him in line to hurry up.
* /b/ is first to get to the window to see the car accident outside.
* /b/ is the stranger your parents warned you not to talk to.
* /b/ is the one who wrote your number on the mall's bathroom wall.
* /b/ is a failing student who makes passes at his young, attractive English teacher.
* /b/ is the guy loitering on Park Ave, the one that's always trying to sell you something.
* /b/ is the one who handed his jizz-drenched clothes to Good Will.
* /b/ is one who first introduced you to Goatse.
* /b/ is a hot incest dream that you'll try to forget for days.
* /b/ is the only one of your group of friends to be secure in his sexuality and say anything.
* /b/ is the guy without ED who still likes trying Viagra.
* /b/ is that bat-shit crazy old man who sits on his porch and threatens to shoot the children that step on his lawn.
* /b/ is the best friend that tags along for your first date and cock-blocks throughout the night. The decent girl you're trying to bag walks out on the date. /b/ laughs and takes you home when you're drunk, and you wake up to several hookers in your house who /b/ called for you.
* /b/ is the kid that likes Inuyasha.
* /b/ is the guy who buys those mini binoculars at a sophisticated play and uses them to stare at the actresses boobs.
* /b/ is a friend that constantly asks you to try mutual masturbation with him.
* /b/ is the 10 second delay in which you contemplate walking back into the room you just accidentally saw your friends naked mom in, and asking her if you could be of assistance.

* /b/ is your penis that betrays you when he turns into a raging hard on, right as you are called to stand up in front of the class.
* /b/ is the guy who calls a suicide hotline to hit on the adviser
* /b/ is nuking the hard-drive next time someone knocks on his door.
* /b/ is the one who left a used condom outside the schoolyard.
* /b/ is the voice in your head that tells you that it doesn't matter if she's drunk.
* /b/ is the friend who constantly talks about your mom's rack.
* /b/ is the strung out drunk guy dancing and playing air guitar alone to the music at an outdoor concert.
* /b/ is the only one who understands what the hell you are saying.
* /b/ is someone who would pay a hooker to eat his ass, and only that.
* /b/ is the uncle who has touched you several times.
* /b/ is the homeless person at the bus stop who wraps his arm around you and starts a conversation.
* /b/ is still recovering in the hospital after trying something he saw in a hentai.
* /b/ is the guy that puts an "I love dead babies" banner on the side of his car and drives past the protesters outside of clinics.
* /b/ is the friend who, when you're in the city and you see a homeless person, he pulls what looks like a beer bottle out and gives it to the bum - but the bottle really has a mixture of semen and curdled ovaltine in it.

* /b/ thinks he is smarter than you, but is often wrong.
* /b/ is the friend who makes a Tupac joke when his friend's father got shot in the eye, and laughs at the joke.
* /b/tards are witty, intelligent, well adjusted members of society with Honda civics, a mortgage, cats that they don't light on fire, and successful careers as lawyers, documentarians, and public officials. They have two lovely children and beautiful wives (because, you see, they are all heteronormative) that they met sitting next to on a flight to Fiji.
* /b/ is the attractive girl you met over the internet that makes you want to fap, until he sends you nude pictures, to your dismay.

/b/ is just one of the many image boards on 4chan.
It is nothing more, unless you can provide an example of other ways people use it, then I can probably figure it out.
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PostSubject: Re: The mistery of /b/   Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:04 pm

Have have broken the internet rules. *SHUN*
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